Unhappy families – Prospect Magazine � Prospect Magazine

Unhappy families – Prospect Magazine � Prospect Magazine

Somebody please tell Prospect to make their site free to read in totality! Well, just so I can read the rest of this article.

Fascinating on how we can pass depression on to our children, but how we can stop this cycle (although I haven't got to the hows of this, as it's subscriber content only - and I'm not seriously asking them to make it free content, I know that mags need to adjust to changing times and make money from online editions to support quality content... although what are libraries doing about this? Are they buying bulk user subscriptions?)

Anyway, as a depressive myself, of depressive parents, this is a reason to sit upright. I had never thought about passing depression onto my children... but of course this is something I need to avoid at all costs.....

Birthday Day

It's my birthday today and the second one my babbie has been around for. Get a real thrill out of receiving cheesy Hallmark-style cards that say 'to mum' or 'to mummy' on. What can I say? Inside my hippy exterior there's a Disney-loving, magic weaving kiddie that loves all that stuff.

Darling Bobo (the man) made a super fry up for breakfast and Cloud stood next to me on the bench and snuggled in, giving lots of his special kisses. He could tell it was my special day!

I am enjoying a glass of champagne - yes, I know it's early in the morning, but this is my birthday indulgence.

My mum and brother arriving tonight, so will put something in the slow cooker, make sure we have enough wine, and line up the board games. My ideal birthday!

I read my tarot cards last night. I used to do this a lot but haven't touched them for well over a year or so. A lot of stuff came up, although it's always hard to objectively read your own cards. There was definitely a part about the future bringing female friendship and a new creative venture via communication tool. So I'm thinking, perhaps this blog? I really do crave contact with some other like-minded mothers out there, and some of the blogs I've been reading are really engaging and inspiring - I particularly like The Carried Family.

Ducks, yoghurt and crystal healing

Fed ducks again today, by the canal - my new favourite 'sacred spot', more or less untred by folk, apart from the odd walker / worker on a lunch break / cyclist / bunking off schoolkid / rival duck feeder. And of course the odd barge, using the lock. They have their work cut out - 72 locks on 20 miles of this small stretch of canals...

Cloud is spooning yoghurt as fast as he can. A great distraction from my box of crystal points that I use for healing work and he uses as missiles (friendly fire - directed at table legs and walls).

Yesterday I taught him his colours and he will now fetch the 'yellow ball', 'blue ball', 'green ball', 'red ball'.

I'm bored today...one of those days that no matter how many coffees I drink (had two), I can't get going.

I need more ideas for activities to do at home. Or at least some ways to make play dough more interesting...

Amazing Play

Just got back from an amazing mother and baby club session. Once again I am reminded of the utter humility, grace and gratitude I feel at seeing my little beloved Cloud play and seeing the pure joy on his face when we sing his favourite songs.

When he reaches round to stroke my face or grab my hand to make sure that I am joining in the fun, I am reminded that all souls start out this way - loving and utterly benevolent and so compassionate. And yes - so utterly joyful and scampful and full of life's energy.

How blessed I am to undergo this journey of motherhood with him.

I am really hoping to connect with other families through this blog that also want to tread a heartfelt path of parenthood. I am finding, through google, lots of terms for this: Kanagroo parenting, attachment parenting, green parenting. I think they probably all mean the same, undefinable act of trying to connect with your child on their own amazing level.

I have been trying to think of ways to open up Cloud to spiritual lessons, to nurture the spirit that already exists within him. We have been doing blessings of our food with him since he was born, with quite a few lapses. Last week I started going through the chakra points with him, and yesterday told him to open his wings and fly - which he likes.

I'm not trying to force any mindset on him and am just looking for all different ways to expose him to spirituality...

Oooh here goes

Well it's the first post. And no-one reads first posts, right? So it doesn't matter if this meanders and splutters, grinding to a halt with a final full stop and a sigh of relief and a slug of red wine to celebrate.

But on the other hand, I could use this post to introduce myself, my family and (nobody still reading this? Just checking) the point of this blog.

There must be another way. I'm a stay at home mom. Actually, a stay at home mum, because I'm in Yorkshire. But for a moment there (and remember, nobody is reading this), I wanted to pretend I was one of those cool blogger mums in Seattle, or San Francisco or some mountain lodge in the wilds of the USA.

Nope, I'm a Yorkshire mum (though not a Yorkshire lass) and I have dumped my normal civil service existence to be a stay at home mum, for now at least. And like I said - there must be another way. I want to walk a path of peace, of ecological balance, of human rights and compassion, of spirituality and inner warrior strength. And I am torn between worlds of cupcakes and neatly applied eyeliner, and the world of baggy t-shirts, bright leggings and unbrushed hair.

I am torn between raising my son to be an academic, and letting him run free in the wilds with long unkempt hair, nutbrown legs and freedom from schooling.

I am torn between returning to catholicisism, or walking an old spiritual path with my son who at 21 months looks back at me as he has always looked back at me, with eyes old beyond his years and a sense of knowing that turns my heart and soul inside out.

I want to join that class of mothers that know what to do and how to do it. I feel inept and clumsy in this mother body of mine, which bumbles through the day.

I want to be that mother who can sew rugs, mend clothing, discuss eco politics, find friends to chat with over steaming mugs of tea. And hate to admit that I am here shy and friendless, clumsily finding my way through each day on this journey of discovery with my son as together we learn to walk this world.

Okay - ramble, ramble. Who are we? There's me; there's the darling son, Cloud. There's the ever patient partner, Bobo. There's the one eyed major general tomcat, and there's the fattest, most cuddlies cat in the world.

I am blessed. And I seek a path where I can do my best for my blessings.